Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Conversations with a feline dictator...

Kellie:  *getting up from the couch*  I think I'll just grab something to drink, Gypsy.

Gypsy the Feline Dictator:  *jumping onto the couch and stretching out the length of it*  At last!  I've waited an eternity for my chance, and finally it has come!  

Kellie:  *returns from the kitchen*  Hey, that's my seat!  Up you get, cat.

Gypsy the Feline Dictator:  *mewling warningly*  I don't think so, pitiful human!  I've claimed this couch as my own.  

Kellie:  I'm not kidding here, Gypsy.  Move!  

Gypsy the Feline Dictator:  If I don't move for the great roaring beast you called "Vacuum", then I'm certainly not giving up my rightful place for you, worthless mortal!

Kellie:  *attempts to lift  her off the couch*  There's a cat bed right over there!  Go sit on that!

Gypsy the Feline Dictator:  *digs claws into the throw rug and refuses to be moved*  I will not stoop to sit on that ... thing!  It's bulky, uncomfortable, and it clashes with my fur!

Kellie:  Oh ... forget it.  I'll go watch TV in the bedroom instead.  *muttering to self*  I swear, it's like she thinks it her apartment or something...

Gypsy the Feline Dictator:  You're right, puny creature.  Perhaps you should consider renting a second dwelling.  You've abused my hospitality for far too long.


I'm pretty sure my cat thinks that this is her place and she's just very nicely letting me stay here.  She's certainly become very territorial about the couch.  I knew she'd be upset when I got rid of her couch (I had two, one for me and one for her) back when I redecorated, but I didn't realise it was going to start a battle of wills over who got to sit on the new one!

Luckily there's no jurisdiction disputes over the bedroom, it's all mine ... at least not yet...

54 comments:

  1. Hope that's also true for the bath room and refrigerator.

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    1. The fridge is safe, she doesn't have opposable thumbs. But the bathroom is definitely a battlefield.

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  2. Mine just likes to overtake my laptop when I'm writing. Because why would I want to finish writing a great new novel when I can scratch her butt?

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  3. Replies
    1. Oh no, I wouldn't dare! She'd probably kill me in my sleep!

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  4. Our cat is like that, too. Drives me insane!

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  5. You got rid of her couch? Good gawd, woman, you're lucky to still be alive.

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    1. I know. I definitely took my life into my hands with that one.

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  6. Replies
    1. That's because she is. Although, she looks decidedly less bad ass when the groomer gives her a complete shave. Then she kind of looks like a scrawny lion.

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  7. My lit'l pup is very much the same only it is all the beds in the house she thinks she owns! She'll curl up and sleep at your lower back, which is great if you have a back ache, furry heating pad.. Not so great if you actually want to change sleeping positions because once she's snuggled in, she's not moving! :)

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    1. LOL! It's like our only purpose is to be there for them to lie on!

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  8. I think you are probably reading her mind fairly accurately. My two cats think the house is theirs and they are doing me a favor by letting me live here with them. I think Gypsy is quite sweet looking even if she is a couch hoarder.

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    1. Oh, she looks sweet alright. In fact, it's when she looks super sweet that I know she's about to do something awful.

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  9. Maybe she just thought you should have offered to bring her a drink, too. Honestly, humans just think the world revolves around them!

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    1. Maybe that was it. Although, if it's her apartment she should have been offering me the drink!

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  10. I have a cat just like this as well. We call her the little princess. She goes off in a huff if we make her move

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    1. I'm pretty sure all cats are royalty, from the way they act.

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  11. That's like my mom's cat, Evil Ethel Mertz. I think Ethel and Gypsy could be soulmates.

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    1. Lets hope they never team up to take over the world! We'd all be in trouble then!

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  12. I also get the "don't pay attention to that computer screen, scratch my butt" as well.
    Then she steps on the keyboard and screws up whatever I was working on :)

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    Replies
    1. Gypsy does that too. I swear, it's like she knows she's doing.

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  13. This is another reason for me not to get pets.

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  14. My kids' cat is like that. I'm pretty sure she's plotting my demise..

    Hugs!

    Valerie

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    Replies
    1. Oh, she's DEFINITELY plotting your demise. That's what cats do in their spare time, in between scratching expensive furniture and spraying things.

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  15. I think it's wonderful that this kitty allows you to share its space.

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  16. Gosh she doesnt' scratch up the furniture like my daughter's cats do does she? Then again being a dictator, she can do as she pleases. :)

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    1. She goes to town on my wicker dining chairs, but leaves everything else alone. I've just given up trying to stop her.

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  17. " If I don't move for the great roaring beast you called "Vacuum", then I'm certainly not giving up my rightful place for you, worthless mortal!" This... this is like Gypsy and Bubba share the same brain.

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    Replies
    1. Oh dear, there are two of them? Oh help, we're screwed...

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  18. My cat is too busy dictating the dog, he leaves me to my own devices.

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    1. Maybe that's what I have to do, get another pet for her to boss around so she stops bossing me.

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  19. Shhhh! Don't say anything about the bedroom, or even write it, or the dictator may find out!
    It has been a while since we've heard from Gypsy and I love this triumphant return.

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    1. LOL! It's been a long, hard battle, but I've managed to keep the bedroom out of enemy paws.

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  20. She doesn't move for the vacuum?? Incredible. My cats act like a spaceship has landed in the living room

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    1. No, she refuses to move. I have to vacuum around her.

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  21. That's funny. Just before heading over here I tweeted this:

    "Just realized my life is just like Downton Abbey. In the sense that my cats are the Grantham family and I'm the staff that lives downstairs."

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  22. phew! I am glad I don't have any pets!

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    1. Things would be quieter around here, that's for sure, but I'm still glad I have her :D

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  23. That's animals for you, whether it be cats or dogs they think they're the kings of the castle and we're all the dirty rascals!

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    1. True. And so far nothing has happened to disabuse her of that idea.

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  24. So-oo typical of cats. Their snooty independence is what I actually love about them, except when they do those naughty things. How do keep those claws off that leather/vinyl chair? I want a cat so bad again, but now we have leather furniture.

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    1. It's funny, but she never scratches the leather. The old couches were cloth covered and she went to town on them, but not the new ones. The wicker dining chairs though, those are fair game for her.

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  25. Haha! Didn't you know, cats rule us... we're simply their minions! GReta blog, glad to have found it xx

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  26. I go through a similar routine on a daily basis with my knucklehead dog. If he could talk I swear he would refer to himself in third person as "The Prince."

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  27. Ha Ha! That's SO the way cats are!!

    xoxo
    Lynn

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  28. well possession is 9/10ths of the law, and she is in the house 24/7/365...so yeah, in her mind it's hers!

    (and you are right, she and Fleurp do look a lot a like.)

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